One of the more stressful situations for non-sellers is networking. Often times you’re at a chamber of commerce luncheon, trade-show, cocktail event or meet-up and you feel you should “working the crowd” to drum up business. However like public speaking, many fear the pressure of making small-talk. All too often you find yourself uncomfortably milling about the room, awkwardly looking for a familiar face. It’s hard kicking off a conversation and you don’t want to be considered pushy. Given we spend most of our time with people we know, it’s a strange experience, meeting strangers!
The goal in these networking events is to meet new people, find out if any are qualified prospects and exchange cards so you can follow up at a later time. Instead of seeing the event as an angst ridden junior high dance, consider taking on one of the following mindsets to: ease the stress, lower your fear and raise your ability to generate genuine conversation.
When you enter the room find someone who is alone, step up and take on one the following personas:
- Be a Bartender – Consider you’re a bartender at a corner pub in a large city. Surrounding the establishment are many homes, condominiums and apartments. One evening a man enters the room and pulls up to the bar. It’s clear from their body language they’ve had a long day. They are dressed stylish, yet a bit disheveled. They have no twinkle in their eye and when you ask them what they’re having, they provide a two word response. This is the case where you need to be the Bartender “Hey buddy, how you doing? You seem a bit down today? What’s going on? Tell me about your problems?” In this situation, you ask questions like a therapist, but unlike a therapist you’re trying to see if their issues are in the space of your business. Do they use your competitors? What do they think about them? Have they ever considered switching and if interested would they like to exchange contact information? This is being a bartender.
- Be A Guest at a Wedding Reception – Consider you’re at Cousin Sissies wedding. You’re at the reception and it’s filled with large round tables and decorated with streamers and flowers. You’re seated at one of the tables and most of the people are relatives, relatives that you don’t know that well, but you’ve known them all your life. Your job is to ask everyone for an update on their lives: “So Uncle Joe are you still working at the factory? How about Aunt Maryl is she feeling better? And your daughter, what’s her name? Jessie? That’s right what’s she doing these days”. In this situation the key thought is to consider everyone a cousin at the networking event, you’re all family. You can ask about family and hobbies. Ask about work and if they do things that you might sell. Ask how it’s working and if they are happy with what they have. If you find someone qualified you can ask for their contact information. This is being a cousin at a wedding reception.
- Be a Research Scientist – Consider you’re a market research scientist, taking a poll of shoppers on the sidewalk for some new improved cleaning product, political referendum, or urban planning study. As people walk by you ask “Hi I’m studying kitchen cleanser use, which one do you use now? What do you think of the idea of annexing the North property for a park?“ At the networking event you might take a poll about many topics “Hi where are you from? What do you do? Do you currently use my competitor? How would you rate them? Are you happy with them? Would you ever consider switching” and other such questions. If it’s clear the person you’re polling is not a match, you quickly say “nice to meet you” and you move onto the next person, like a bee goes from flower to flower, slowly collecting the pollen of business cards.
If you haven’t seen a common thread in these mental mindsets it’s this: People are people, we’re all cousins, and most are comfortable talking about themselves when asked questions.
The trick for you, is to:
- Stimulate conversation
- Get people to talk about themselves
- Find out their pain and desire in some context
- Sift out which people are qualified prospective clients
- Exchange contact information to follow up
By taking one of these three mindsets: Bartender, Wedding Guest, Research Scientist it takes pressure off you. Look at your own life. You are a neighbor, a relative, and a shopper on the street. When you start to see strangers as people, just like you, it’s much easier to find the energy to connect.
Of these three mindsets, which of them seem to make the most sense for you?
Does it help to enter a networking situation with a process in mind, with some goals lined up and a clear set of tasks to be completed? Or do you think this is all silly? I’d love to hear what you think. But the fun doesn’t end with this post. Click here for five bartender jokes